Big Happy Family
by BlackHeartSpectre
Summary: What do you expect when you have General Cross Marian for a father? Doom, gloom, and mayhem, that's what! At least according to Lavi, Allen and Cross' other 5 children... OOC, silliness, and general randomness. Oh, and OCs too. Rated T for sexual refs.
1. Chapter 1

Big Happy Family- Chapter One

Big Happy Family- Chapter One

"You called, Master?" Allen walked into the room cautiously, keeping his hands near his face in case General Cross tried to throw a weighty object (namely a hammer) at him again. But the general didn't react, just sat at his desk, staring out the window. A glass of wine sat untouched beside him. To Allen, this was even scarier that all the times Cross had been hiding behind the door, in his creepy skull-head form.

"Master?" Cross turned slowly in his chair until he faced Allen.

"Come closer." Allen took two steps forward.

"Closer." Another step.

"Come on." One more step.

"Get over here, idiot apprentice! Now!" Allen rushed over to Cross, keeping his head low. But instead of hitting him, Cross simply placed his hand on Allen's head.

"I have something to tell you. Something important."

"You have AIDS?" Allen asked hopefully.

"No idiot apprentice…" Cross smiled.

"Or should I say…son?" Allen's eyes went wide. _He's drunk like always! Or this is part of some scheme he's come up with. It's not true!_

"Oh, and another thing."

"Yes, Master?" Allen asked, twitching slightly.

"Lavi is your half brother and my son too! From now on, we're going to be one big happy family!" The final straw came when Cross embraced him in a hug. Allen's mind exploded from the sheer impossibility of this happening. Cross hadn't ever helped Allen up when he fell, much less _hugged _him.

Well, there was that one time, but Allen never thought of that.

"NOOOOOOO!!" Allen yelled, wishing he could drop dead….

--

Allen jerked up from the bed, panicking. He looked around the room. No sign of Cross.

"Whew. It was just a nightmare," Allen said, relieved.

"Yeah, a living one," Lavi said. Allen jumped.

"When did you get here?"

"I've been here. Cross, or should I say "Dad" made me drag you down here after you passed out."

"So you know huh?"

"Yeah. Bookman sent me up to Cross and he told me. So we're half brothers now?"

"I guess so," Allen replied.

"Yay! I've always wanted a little brother," Lavi said, hugging Allen.

"No! He's gotten you too!" Allen tried to get away from Lavi, but to no avail.

"I'm just happy that someone else has to share in my torture. Who knows what he's going to try on us?" At that moment, Cross himself walked in, casually smoking a cigarette.

"Ah, glad to see you're awake, Allen. I was worried about you."

"Yeah right. What do you want?"

"You're probably wondering why I've taken a sudden interest in you guys."

"No I'm not. Because you're always so concerned and you always care sooo much about me," Allen said, rolling his eyes. Cross ignored him and continued.

"As you both know, I have many debts that need to be paid off.

"No kidding," Allen snorted. Lavi stifled a laugh.

"To make a long story short, the only way the Black Order will pay off my debts is to prove that I'm a good person and worth keeping around. And what better way to do that than to take care of my two wonderful sons?"

"Achoo! Sorry, "Dad". I'm allergic to bullshit."

"Ahaha, Allen. Always the funny one," Cross smiled, giving Allen the signature "If you mess this up it's a fate worse than death" look. He yelped and tried to bury himself under the blankets. Lavi pulled him out.

"C'mon Allen. How bad can it be? I've always wished I could meet my dad, and my mom died a few years ago. Cross might actually turn out to be a great father." Allen looked at Lavi in disbelief.

"If that hazard of a man had been around when we were little kids, we'd be dead from shaken baby syndrome or carbon monoxide inhalation or severe hammer injuries," he said, pointing at Cross for emphasis, who still stood smoking.

"Yuma died? I'm sorry to hear that. She was damn good in bed." Cross shook his head and put out his cigarette.

"Brain cells…are killing themselves…because of disturbing…images…everything's going blurry…"

"Ah, suck it up Allen. No son of mine can be a prude and take my honorable name of Cross."

"Who'd want to be associated by blood with you?"

"Does that mean my name is Lavi Cross?" Allen grabbed Lavi and shook him.

"You have to fight it Lavi! That man is the devil in human skin! He'll eat you alive!"

"Yes, but I'm the sexiest damn devil there ever was." Allen twitched.

"I cannot believe you just said that."

"Well I did. And Lavi inherited more of my good looks than you. But enough of the chitchat. Time for some family bonding!" Allen envisioned a dark room filled with every kind of sharp, pointy, and evil torture device known to man and he shivered. That's when he realized Cross was dragging both him and Lavi down the hall by their jackets.

"Where are we going, Dad?" Lavi asked.

"A brothel. Where else? Someone's gotta teach you boys the facts of life."

"Hell yeah! You're the best dad ever! Hot babes, here I come!"

"That's my boy Lavi. Too bad Allen can't share your enthusiasm." Allen was scratching claw marks into the tile trying to scramble away frantically.

"Komui, Reever, Kanda, Lenalee, Miranda, anyone, SAVE ME!! Get me away from this terrible man!" But his cries went unheard, and before he knew it, they were out of the Black Order HQ…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Allen sulked at the bar while Cross and Lavi downed all the alcohol they could get their hands on.

"Hey Allen, did you know that you can drink as long as your parents give you permission? That is so awesome!" Lavi's face was flushed and he was starting to sway.

"Um, Lavi, I think you've reached your limit. Just give me the rum…" Allen reached for the bottle, but Lavi pulled away."

"No way. Get your own booze." A young blonde caught Lavi's eye, and all of his attention focused on her. Allen took the bottle of rum from him and hid it. That was enough for one night.

"Hey baby. Can I buy you a drink?"

"You do realize I'm a man, don't you?" It took Lavi a moment in his drunken stupor to figure out what had been said, but when he did, he ran from the table as if he were on fire. Allen couldn't help but laugh.

"She turned into a he all of a sudden!" Lavi said dramatically.

"No, you just sat down at the wrong table," Allen replied.

"Oh. By the way, where did Dad go?"

"He went into the back room with three girls a little while ago and hasn't come out since." Allen looked at the clock.

"We'd better get out of here. They're going to come out with the check that we can't pay pretty soon."

"Aw. It was just starting to get fun." Lavi had his arm around the blonde from before and another girl. Allen stood up and walked to the door of the back room. He knew better than to open the door immediately, to listen and make sure nothing nasty was going on before flinging the door open. He'd done that one too many times in his younger days, and the aftermath had not been pretty.

Just giggling and talking. A good sign. Allen opened the door and looked inside.

"…And there I was, facing an entire army of monsters, with two broken legs and a…oh, hi son! What do you need?" Allen opened the door all the way. Lavi stumbled over and leaned on Allen.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…"

"Dad, we'd better go. It's getting late."

"Are these your sons? They're so handsome! And they look so much like you!" Cross smiled, eating up the praise.

"Why yes, they are. But of course, what would you expect when they have a father like me?"

"Yes, we're so vey fortunate. Now we have to leave." Allen began pulling Cross and Lavi away when the owner spotted them.

"Uh oh."

"Hey! You get back here and pay your bill!"

"What do we do?" Lavi asked.

"We do what every honorable exorcist would do in our position; run away!" Cross took off out the doors, followed closely by Allen and Lavi. A mob was beginning to form and come after them.

"Every man for himself!" Cross yelled as he began to run faster.

"Hey, no fair! You have longer legs!"

"Yeah, which means all I have to do is outrun you guys and I'm home free! Sayonara, suckers!" Cross flung Lavi into Allen and they tumbled to the ground, the mob overtaking them in a split second. He turned around to laugh at their misfortune…

And tripped over a bench.

They were all sitting in the city jail fifteen minutes later.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and faved my story! I appreciate it a lot. And I promise the next chapters are going to be longer.**


	3. Chapter 3

"This is all your fault, DAD," Allen spat. He turned around and put his tin cup through the bars.

"Spare food…spare food…" Lavi lay face down on the floor, groaning. He'd thrown almost immediately after they'd been put in the cell, unable to hold down the alcohol.

"Stop talking so loud!" Lavi grumbled irritably. Cross sat on the cot, staring intently at his hands.

"What the hell are you doing?" Allen asked.

"There's a certain spell I could use to get us out of here, but I can't remember if I touch my index finger to my thumb or my middle finger to my thumb," Cross said.

"This is troubling."

Someone dropped a chocolate bar into Allen's cup. He took out the bar and threw the cup at Cross.

"You mean to tell me the only thing standing between us and freedom is a finger?! Just pick one and go with it!!" Allen ate his candy bar angrily.

"All right, but if we get evaporated, it's your fault."

"You're the one performing the magic," Allen snapped back.

"Here goes nothing." Cross chanted a few magic words and pressed his index finger and thumb together. The hinges to the cell door exploded, and it fell down.

"That works," Allen said. He grabbed Lavi and they made their great escape. By the time anyone noticed they were gone, they were already outside of town and heading back to the Black Order…

--

"Home! Home sweet home!" Allen sat Lavi down and hugged the nearest support pillar.

"Drama queen," Cross muttered.

"Am not! I'm just happy to be back, that's all."

"Sure. I believe you," Cross said with a smirk.

"Oh, you guys are finally back." Lavi brightened up, suddenly better.

"Krorykins! I missed you!" He hugged Krory tightly.

"Ah, but you were only gone for a night! And…I…can't…breathe…"

"Oh, sorry." Lavi let go, allowing Krory to catch his breath.

"Huh? Who's the little kid behind you?" A boy about six years old clung to the tail of Krory's coat. His red hair stood up almost like Lavi's and his eyes were a light blue.

"Oh. This is Leo. He's from America." The boy came from behind Krory and looked at Lavi.

"Daddy?" he asked, eyes shining.

"No, but since you're the cutest little kid ever, you can call me that!" Cross walked over, examining Leo as Lavi picked him up.

"He's your brother, not your dad," he said.

"Don't listen to him," Lavi said. "He's too old to be your daddy."

"So he's Grandpa?" Leo asked innocently. Lavi looked over at the stricken Cross.

"Yes," he said. "Now let's go get some food before Uncle Allen eats it all."

"Daddy, can Krory be Mommy?"

"Sure. Why not? We're all just one big dysfunctional family anyway." They left Cross sitting in the middle of the floor, mumbling, "I'm not old." Allen walked by, eating a sandwich. Seeing his opportunity, he grabbed a hammer and hit Cross upside the head with it, laughing maniacally as he ran away.

"I'll get him later," Cross mumbled as he sat back up. Komui ran into the room in a panic.

"You need to come get your son! He's out of control!"

"Who, Leo?"

"No, one of your other ones! Just come, now!" He grabbed Cross by the jacket.

"What, is he torching your office or something?"

"No, worse. He's…he's…_organizing it._" Komui made it sound like it was some sort of unspeakable act.

"Well it about high time someone did," Reever said, taking a drink of his lemon soda.

"I mean, honestly, it's a miracle you can find anything in the mess. The guy's doing you a favor."

"But it's MY mess," Komui whined.

"Let go of me!" Cross said, dusting himself off.

"Make him stooop!!" Komui clung to Cross, almost in tears.

"Get off of me!" He shoved Komui away and set off in the maze of papers to find the one responsible. He soon found him sitting between two stacks of paper, sorting. He didn't look like Cross at first glance with his short blonde hair. He had Cross' red eyes and facial structure and wore a long brown robe.

"Oh God! This has to be the worst thing that's ever happened to me. My son's a monk!" Cross said in horror.

"Ah. You must be bastard father. I am Nicolae, from Romania."

"What the hell? You must be Teresa's son."

"My mother died when I was young boy. I live in monestary for eleven years." He stood up, pulling papers off his robe.

"This place is horrid mess. Needs cleaning. I try to do black-haired one favor, but all he does is whine."

"My beautiful office!" Komui cried. "It's ruined!"

"Bah! All you do is complain! Go away! Get out!"

"But..." Komui began before Nicolae shoved him out.

"Damn. How old are you?"

"Seventeen, eighteen in nine months."

"You need to come drinking with me. As your father, I say you have to go out and see the world."

"Hmm…no. I'd rather clean. Is more productive. Now you go too. You are distracting me." Nicolae pushed Cross out and shut the door.

"You just got shafted," Reever said with a smirk.

"F-- you," Cross replied. The door to Komui's office opened and a book hit Cross square in the head.

"I heard that," Nicolae said. "No swearing!" The door shut once more.

"Yeah," Komui snickered. "Watch your language Cross. The monk will get you if you don't."

Cross gave Komui a death glare and stomped off.

--

**A/N: Thanks again to all who have reviewed and added this story to alert lists and favorites. See you next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Leo sat happily in Lavi's lap, eating a piece of chocolate cake. He observed everyone else in the room, going in and out

"Um, excuse me." Lavi turned to face a young Indian woman, dressed in traditional clothes. She had long black hair and red eyes.

"Yes, how may I help you?" Lavi had gone into full on flirting mode.

"I am looking for…" She squinted at the piece of paper in her hand.

"Marian…Cross." Lavi's face fell when he realized he'd been hitting on his half sister. He sighed. Easy come, easy go.

"He's somewhere around here, though I couldn't tell exactly where…oh, speak of the devil, there he is." Cross came walking in, muttering to himself.

"Geez, I try to do something good for once in my life, and what do I get?" He stopped upon seeing her. She flushed, beginning her sentence.

"I am Avani, of India. My mother sent me here to find you."

"She's not looking for child support, is she? Because I have no money whatsoever."

"Oh no," Avani said. "It was just that I was getting to be too much for her to handle. So she sent me here."

"Ah, I see. Mei was never one for patience. The reason you came along was because she couldn't wait for me to put on the condom." Lavi covered Leo's ears, giving Cross a death glare.

"How dare you talk like that in front of your grandson! You'll corrupt him!"

"What's the big deal? He's gonna have to learn eventually, especially if he's any son of mine."

"Grandpa's funny," Leo said, looking up at Lavi.

"What's a condom?"

"Something Grandpa clearly doesn't know how to use. Now let's go see Grandma Komui and Auntie Reever before Grandpa turns you evil like him."

"Okay. Bye evil Grandpa!!" Leo waved enthusiastically as Lavi carried him away. Cross looked back at Avani, who looked horror stricken.

"Come on! I'm not old enough to be a grandpa! I mean, maybe I am, but I'm not a grandpa! Geez, this whole "good father" thing isn't working out too well for me." Cross sat down at a table and said the words you're never supposed to say in these kinds of situations.

"Could this possibly get any worse?" That's when he heard the door open and Allen come tearing down the hall at top speed, screaming, "Holy crap! Cross made a clone of himself!" A teenage boy walked in, carrying a small girl. The little girl pulled off her hood, revealing a head of bright red curls. The teenager pulled off his hood.

Now Cross knew why Allen had thought he'd made a clone of himself. He looked exactly like Cross, minus the facial hair and the fact that he wore his long red hair in a ponytail. He spotted Cross and waved. Knowing it was too late to run away, the red-haired general stayed where he was. The teen bowed dramatically.

"Top of the mornin to ye sir. The name's Ewan, Rogue o' the Highlands, and this little lady is Giselle. We've come a long ways looking for ye." Ewan put Giselle down and she ran over to Cross, tackling him.

"Papa! I thought I would never find you!" she exclaimed, continuing to chat animatedly in French. Cross was shocked for a moment, but eventually embraced the girl.

"Huh. So he's not heartless bastard after all," Nicolae, who had witnessed the entire scene, said. "At least not when it comes to vomen."

"YOU!!" Ewan pointed at Nicolae.

"Dammit," the monk muttered. "Vat do you vant?"

"You're the one who cheated me out of me money! Playing poker in Romania!"

"I do no such thing. I am honorable man, never gamble in my life. You must mistake me for someone else. Now I must leave. Have much to do." Nicolae tried to walk away, but Ewan blocked his path.

"I'd recognize ye anywhere, with that fair hair and them red eyes. Now give back me money!"

"I tell you already. I am simple monk who have no money. Now get out of way." Ewan drew his sword and pointed it at Nicolae.

"You'd better get the money quick or ye'll see the colour of your insides, monk!" Nicolae pulled a dagger from the sleeve of his robe.

"I think not," he replied, and the two began their epic duel to the death. They jumped on tables and over chairs, blocking, slashing, and making a general mess of things. Soon most of the Black Order was watching the spectacle.

"I've got five dollars and a stick of gum riding on the monk from hell," Komui said. Members began pulling out money and valuables as Reever began taking bets. Cross watched with amusement until one of them (he couldn't tell which) committed an unforgiveable act.

Their epic fight got too close to him, and a piece of his long red hair was cut off. It fell to the floor, and everything was suddenly quiet.

Cross handed Giselle over to Avani, furious. He walked over to the two fighting and held them apart. They still lunged at each other.

"Let me go, Da! I must fight for me honor and me money, but mostly me money!"

"Let go, bastard father! Must teach this insolent Scot lesson!"

"ENOUGH!" Cross yelled, slamming their heads together.

"Both of you are going to get along or so help me I'll shoot you both and throw you over a cliff!" The two stopped fighting and stood down, defeated.

"Sorry, Da," Ewan said, hanging his head in shame.

"You get no apology from me, bastard father," Nicolae said, turning away from Cross.

"Ye ought to!" Ewan said.

"But I vill not!" Nicolae replied, crossing his arms. Ewan jumped onto Nicolae and the two began fighting once more.

"And that's what you get when Cross has children," Allen said.

**A/N: Again, thanks to all who are supporting this story! I love you all! Stay tuned for Behind the Scenes fun facts starting next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Okay," Cross said looking at the seven seated in front of him. Leo sat at the far left, looking at his untied boots and tapping on the chair with his fingers. Lavi sat next to him, making sure that his new son didn't fall off or hit his head on the back of it. Nicolae sat between Lavi and Allen, wiggling a loose tooth with his tongue. Avani sat beside Nicolae, legs crossed and a wary eye on the monk beside her. Giselle sat beside her, intent on removing every trace of dirt on her blue dress. Finally, Ewan sat at the other end, glaring at Nicolae through two black eyes.

"If you all are going to live with me, there's going to be a few rules to make sure that everything runs smoothly. First of all, since you're all going to be living at Black Order HQ, you must obey all the rules and regulations set down…"

"You never do," Allen said. Cross paused for a moment before continuing.

"Yes, I know I don't. But do as I _say _not as I _do. _"

"So no unprotected sex?" Allen retorted.

"You're getting rather brave in your old age. Apparently you've forgotten about your time as my idiot apprentice." He pulled out a hammer from his pocket and hit it against his palm, a sadistic grin plastered on his face.

"And I still haven't gotten you back for earlier…"  
"I'll be quiet," Allen said, tucking his knees under his chin.

"That's what I thought." Cross put the hammer back in his pocket.

"As I was saying, obey the rules. Don't do anything stupid and get yourself kicked out of here. Because if you do, it makes _me _look bad. And you don't want to make me look bad. Understood?"

Everyone nodded.

"Second rule: If I'm trying to pick up a good-looking woman, unless she loves kids, stay in the background and act like you don't know me. I don't need you guys cramping my style."

"Bah. Ve don't vant you "cramping our style" either. So should not be hard to act like ve don't know you," Nicolae said.

"This coming from the monk who never does anything but clean," Cross said with a chuckle.

"I never say all I do is clean. Just because I am monk does not mean I am good one."

"Yeah, I happen to know that fer a fact!" Ewan shouted, jumping up to lunge at Nicolae. Cross pulled the hammer out of his pocket and gave Ewan a swift hit in the head. He slumped back in his chair, unconscious.

"Bahaha! Stupid Scot got smacked vith a hammer!! Is too funny!" Cross turned and whacked Nicolae too, knocking out his loose tooth and knocking him unconscious.

"Someone fill them in when they wake up. Anyway, my final rule is that no one touches my booze. Period. You. Do. NOT. Touch it. Understand?"

Everyone nodded once more, though more enthusiastically than before. Ewan and Nicolae still slumped unconscious in their chairs.

"Good. If any of you need me tonight, do not hesitate to ask someone else. That's all. Oh, Allen, Lavi, take those two down to the infirmary." Cross walked away, lighting a cigarette.

"Yes Dad," they said in the same monotone.

--

"Oh great, just what we needed around here. More idiots to bother me," Kanda said as he watched Lavi and Allen walk out of the infirmary.

"If you have a problem with it, blame Cross. He's the one responsible for it all."

"You're just jealous because you can't see your siblings, Yu," Lavi said, sticking his tongue out at Kanda. He glared at Lavi and Allen and began to walk away.

"Who's that?" Leo asked. He hadn't left Lavi's side since they'd met. Seeing his opportunity to cause mischief, Lavi smirked.

"Oh, that's just _Auntie _Kanda." The black haired Exorcist stopped and began to turn slowly around.

"What did you say?" He asked Lavi.

"You heard me. _Auntie._" He smiled.

"Isn't _Auntie _Kanda pretty, Leo?" The little boy, catching onto the gist, smiled.

"Uh-huh. Very pretty. You could almost mistake him for a girl!" Leo said with a giggle.

"I don't usually kill little kids, but in your case I'll make an exception," Kanda said, drawing Mugen from its sheath.

Leo put on his most innocent face and hugged Kanda's leg.

"But I wuv you sooo much Auntie Kanda! Why would you wanna kill me?" Kanda froze, unable to do anything. Could he really harm such a cute face? He twitched, once, twice…

"Ah, I can't resist a kid like you. You beat me," Kanda said, putting away his sword and turning to walk away.

"Oh, and you're more than welcome to come have some soba with me sometime." Allen's jaw dropped. He looked down at Leo.

"How did you do that? You…you…Kanda…he…"

"I lived on the streets most of the time I was in America. It's amazing what people will do if you look cute enough." He smiled. Lavi picked him up and hugged him.

"Son, you and I could conquer the world with your cuteness if we wanted to! I think we shall start on it right away!"

"Well, at least the kitchen. Jerry makes some really good chocolate cake."

"Then to the kitchen!" Lavi and Leo said at the same time. Allen laughed as he watched them run down the hall.

"Those two make quite a pair," he said.

--

"I have been thinking…"  
"Well that's a miracle in itself ye bloody monk." Nicolae glared at Ewan, who was in the bed beside from him.

"Just hear me out, okay? I say ve vork together. Instead of fighting, we team up and bug everyone else."

"Not a bad idea. I rather like the sound of it. But what about…"

"Is very easy to cheat at poker, blackjack, whatever card game you like. Money is not problem," Nicolae said with a smirk. Ewan smirked back.

"You are the worst damn monk I've ever met in my life, but you have yerself a deal." The two shook hands.

"I guess this means you have to forgive me for putting maggots in your oatmeal that morning at the inn," Nicolae said with a smile. Ewan's face fell.

"You did WHAT?? I'm gonna kill ye for that!" He tried to get up, but found himself stuck to the bed.

"Also you must forgive me for putting glue in your sheets. We have deal now, remember?"

"The deal's off, you damned bloody monk! I swear on me Ma's grave yer gonna pay! I swear to the good Lord himself." Nicolae got out of his bed and pulled on a shirt and pants, loaned by Allen..

."Now now Ewan, is no good to swear. It is sin to swear by the name of God." Nicolae walked away smugly, leaving Ewan yelling and cursing up a storm in the infirmary.

--

"Papa, hold still. I'm not done brushing," Giselle chided from the chair she was standing behind Cross.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Cross asked Avani.

"Positive. No one will ever notice there's a piece missing," she said, rummaging through drawers for a hair tie.

"Oh, I have some in my bag. I'll be right back," she said, leaving the room.

"Papa, your hair is so long and beautiful. All the men in France could not compare to you." Cross smiled at the compliment.

"I know which is how I stole your mother from that sleaze of a noble Count Richmond de Cavalla. What a loser he was, thinking he could win Sophia over with just money..." He laughed at some untold joke.

"The count is a bad man," Giselle said. "He kicked me out after Mama went missing and…" She stopped in the middle of her sentence and continued her work in silence.

"I'm back," Avani said.

"Just in time. All done," Giselle said as she stepped down from the chair. Avani took her place, beginning to braid Cross' red hair. She did it with expert hands, finishing quickly.

"Well, what do you think?" Avani handed Cross a mirror.

"Definitely not my usual look, but maybe it was time for an update anyway."

"Mademoiselle Avani did a great job," Giselle said, clapping her hands.

"Yeah, and now it's time for me to go to town." Cross got up from his seat and walked out the door.

"Goodbye father! Have fun!" The two waved.

"Did you not tell him about Mademoiselle Cloud and how you set them up on a date?" Giselle asked.

"I just told him he was going on a date. I never told him who, but he'll find out soon enough…"

--

**A/N: So, all of Cross' children have been introduced. **

**There you have it, and there just might be more to come! Who knows with Cross?**

**And for the promised behind the scenes fact:**

**The braiding scene is based off something one of my friends said about wanting to braid Cross' hair. **

**Stay tuned for next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Hello?" Miranda asked as she looked into the huge library. She often came here on sleepless nights, reading until she fell asleep in one of the chairs.

She heard books falling and a male voice saying, "Damn. That hurt." She hurried over to the source of the voice, hoping it wasn't an intruder trying to take down the Black Order from the inside.

"Oh, you must be one of Cross' children," Miranda said with relief as she looked at the blonde sitting by a stack of books. She'd seen him walking around the headquarters, but he'd been wearing his robe then. Now he wore a simple white shirt and black pants, clearly borrowed from Allen.

"Yes, I am Nicolae Cross of Romania. And you must be Miranda Lotto. I have heard much about you from Allen and the others."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you," She said with a smile. She looked over at the large stack of books beside him.

"Are you planning on reading all of those?"

"No, have already read them all. Just have the one I am holding left to finish." Nicolae continued reading as Miranda sat and looked through the stack curiously. The books were in all different languages, with German, French and English being the only ones she recognized.

"How many languages do you know?" Miranda asked.

"Hmm. Let me think. Romanian, English, Latin, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Chinese, Hindi, and Russian. I can only read Japanese, Greek and Hebrew, cannot speak them. Is too difficult with my accent. So I can read fourteen and speak eleven somewhat well. And I am trying to learn Arabic, Thai, Swedish, and Hungarian at the moment." Miranda's eyes widened.

"Wow! That's amazing! The standard number of known languages for Exorcists is three or four. How do you know all of those?"  
"Eh, I was monk for eleven years. I was required to know Greek, Latin, and Hebrew. Then I just start learning other languages because I have nothing else to do. Father Armand said I have a gift with them. Is pretty easy for me to learn them when I put my mind to it."

"I wish I could do that. I have a hard enough time with English!" Miranda said with a laugh.

But instead of coming back with some clever retort, Nicolae found himself speechless. Why was that? He couldn't figure it out.

"Well, I'm going to go read. It was nice to meet you, Nicolae." Miranda grabbed a book and walked away, leaving him alone.

He put his hand on his chest. His heart was racing. This had never happened. He'd talked to women before. Why was Miranda any different?

Nicolae inhaled deeply, muttering.

"Maybe I will have to get over pride and talk to bastard father after all…"

--

Meanwhile

"Oh hell no," Cross and Cloud said at the same time when they saw each other.

"You…" Cross began.

"Avani set you up too, huh?" Cloud asked. "Some matchmaker she turned out to be. She promised she'd find me a good date. Well, at least it's not Winters."

"Damn, I just wanted a booty call, not a serious date," Cross said as he sat down at the table. Cloud sat too, looking down at the tablecloth.

"Well, since we're already here, we may as well eat and have something to drink," Cloud said, fidgeting with her bracelets.

"Yeah, I guess so. Hey waiter! Bring us some wine, and make it damn good!"

A few hours later, both were a bit drunk and rather chatty.

"So I heard you have a bunch of kids on your hands now. How's that working for ya?" Cross finished off his glass of wine before beginning.

"Eh, Lavi and Allen ain't too bad. Allen's getting a bit of a rebellious streak, but nothing that can't be handled with a hammer and a good death glare. Lavi's taken my youngest, Leo, as his adopted son practically. The two girls, Avani and Giselle, are pretty sweet, though I see a bit too much of myself in Avani for comfort. That girl's got the affinity for matchmaking that I have for love making. Ewan's pretty much the spitting image of me when I was younger, and then Nicolae…he's…I don't know what it is with that kid. He takes more after his mother than he does me."

"Yeah, the monk one is weird. He's not bad looking, though. With a little coaching, I'm sure he could be as great a heartbreaker as you."

"Nah. The kid would rather clean or study more than anything. I don't think he's interested in girls."

"You never know, he might surprise you someday…"

--

Cross and Cloud went back to the Black Order Headquarters together. Cross realized that Cloud actually wasn't that bad of a woman. That monkey, on the other hand, was a royal terror from the deepest pit of hell. Apparently the thing got a kick out of pulling on his braid (and the pieces that came out of it) and chattering very loudly in his ear. Cross wanted to strangle the thing, or shoot it with Judgment. He couldn't do that though, as the thing, no matter how horrible it acted, was an Innocence, and Cloud loved the pest very much.

So he allowed it to live…for the moment.

"Well, despite whom I ended up with…I had a good time," Cloud said.

"Me too. It was nice to get away from the kids," Cross replied. Before he could react, Cloud kissed him on the cheek and walked down the hall from the entrance way and to her room.

Before she got there, however, Lau Jimin gave Cross the "I'm watching you" signal. Cross tried to kill him with his mind, but to no avail. He went back to his room before the monkey could attack him.

He made it to his room and shut the door when he realized that he wasn't alone.

"Nicolae? What are you doing here? Not trying to kill me, are you?"

"No, no. Not going to kill you," He said, looking at the floor. That's when Cross knew something was up. In the short amount of time he'd known his son, he never acted like this. He was always direct and confident.

"Who's the lucky girl?" Cross asked.

"Miranda," Nicolae confessed with a defeated sigh…

--

**A/N: Well, what do we have here? And how will things turn out? One thing is certain, and that's the fact that things almost never go as planned in the Cross family!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"MIRANDA? I mean, she's not _that _bad looking, but still…Miranda? Are you sure it's not just because she's one of the few women in this world that actually likes you?"

"Yes I am sure!" Nicolae said defensively.

"I'm sorry son, but I have to tell you the truth. It would never work out between the two of you. She's much older than you, and she doesn't seem like the type of woman to take romantic advances very well. My suggestion is to find someone closer to your age and get to know her a little better before you decide to fall in love."

"I will not have way I feel cast aside as if it vere unimportant!" Nicolae yelled, catching Cross by surprise. He saw a glimpse of himself at that age, with his first love. He shook the thoughts out of his mind.

"I was just stating facts, Nicolae. I know because I have-"

"Been the lover of many vomen. But I do not know. This is first time this has ever happened to me. And what would you know of love? You treat vomen well, make them love you and then throw them away like refuse. I don't know why I even ask you about this. Goodbye."

"Son, if you feel that strongly about it, then go ahead and tell her. Just don't blame me if she breaks your heart." Nicolae walked out without giving Cross an answer.

--

Avani slipped back into her own room. She'd heard the entire exchange.

She had to stop Nicolae from confessing to Miranda! Krory had come to her earlier that evening about the very same thing! Although she'd only been there a short while, everyone knew to come to her for their love troubles. She's been trained as a matchmaker by her grandmother and she wasn't about to let that training go under.

Krory and Miranda were supposed to be together. All the signs pointed to it. A relationship between Nicolae and Miranda could only end in disaster.

She had to get her half brother away from Miranda for his own good, and for the good of the match between Krory and Miranda that was meant to be.

But how would she do that?

Avani got an idea. It was a long shot, but it just might work.

She had to convince Lenalee to go on a date with Nicolae.

--

Komui was asleep at his desk when he heard a voice that shattered the good dream he was having.

"Hey, sweetheart. Have any nightmares about me lately?"

He jerked up from sleep and looked at the woman sitting on his desk nonchalantly, looking at her nails. His mouth went slack and he was unable to speak for a few moments. Reever opened the door and walked in.

"Komui, I have some papers for you to…" He looked at the woman.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"I think it's rather apparent why I'm here, big boy." She got up off her perch and sauntered over to Reever, locking lips with him. He stood there, frozen, unable to move. She pulled away and he sat down on a couch, his face turning red.

"I'll page Cross right away." Komui said, pressing a button on his desk.

"Good," she replied, removing her black gloves and tossing her long red hair.

"We have quite a bit to talk about."

--

"You want me to WHAT?" Lenalee looked at Avani incredulously.

"It's just for tonight," she said quickly.

"But he's so…weird! He's not my type. And my brother would never approve of this."

"Oh, I think you'll like him once you get to know him. He's very intelligent, and you have to admit, he's not bad looking." Lenalee looked like she was deep in thought.

"And if I don't like him, can you get me a date with say…Allen or Lavi?" Avani smiled.

"Of course. Anything in return for this favor. But don't judge Nicolae before you know him. He's deeper than he seems."

"Well okay. It's a date!" Lenalee said with a smile.

"Wonderful," Avani said, leaving the room. Lenalee shivered. What exactly made her do that? It seemed almost as if she couldn't have refused if she tried…

--

"What do you need, Komui?" Cross walked in, smoking a cigarette. His eye caught the woman sitting on the couch. He smirked.

"Hadrian," he said simply. She smiled and walked over to him.

"Marian, my brother! How have you been these past few years?" She embraced him, her head only coming to the middle of his chest.

"Just fine. Can't complain."

"Except for the fact that you have seven kids on your hands now, right?"

"How did you find out about that?"

"Oh, silly Marian. I know everything. I'm your big sister. Remember? Now, where are my nieces and nephews? I've come so far to see them!" Four of them walked in right after she said that; Giselle bugging Leo about playing house with her, Lavi carrying his cracked hammer, and Allen carrying a stack of papers he needed signed.

"SCORE!!" Lavi yelled upon seeing Hadrian. "Hey Dad, who's the smoking hot babe standing beside you?"

"Your aunt," Cross replied. Lavi's excitement died down.

"Man, why do I have to be related to all the hot babes in this world?" he mused to himself.

"Well I'm flattered you think I'm that good looking. I'm starting to get old. I'll be thirty-six in November. Or should I say, Marian and I will be thirty-six."

"She's your twin?" Lavi asked.

"Yeah, they're twins. Hadrian's older by seven minutes," Allen replied.

"Oh, Allen! You've grown up so much since I last saw you! And to think that you were Marian's boy all along…I knew it somewhere inside of me." She looked down at Giselle and Leo.

"Oh, and just who are you two?" Hadrian asked.

"I'm Leo, and Lavi's my daddy," he said proudly.

"My name is Giselle, Mademoiselle," she said curtsying politely.

"Aw, you're so cute! I just might have to take you home with me!"

"No," Cross said, picking up the little girl.

"Oh, Marian. Playing favorites, are we? That's never good. Where are your other three kids?" The other three walked in right at that moment.

"How does she do that?" Lavi whispered to Allen.

"She's a magician too, you know," Allen replied.

"I see," Lavi said.

"All in all, you have some very beautiful children," Hadrian said.

"Now, where the hell do you keep the booze in this place? The good, stuff, nothing cheap or nasty."

"Yes, sister dearest," Cross said with a sarcastic edge.

"Thank you, Marian." Hadrian walked quickly to keep up with her brother.

"This is going to be fun," Ewan said as they followed the two…

--

**A/N: And so we have the introduction of Cross' sister! Just what kind of person is she, and just how much more mayhem could one more woman cause? And what of the two dates fixing to happen? Stay tuned and find out next chapter! **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"This is a pretty nice place you're staying in," Hadrian said, looking around.

"I think I might stay around for a while. The world gets boring pretty quick, going from place to place all the time."

"At least you can go places. After my four year absence, I'm forbidden from going anywhere without another Exorcist." Cross drank the last of his glass of wine, looking over at his sister's.

"Ha! So you have to have a babysitter? That's rich! I am never going to let you live this down, Marian."

"Stop calling me that."

"I'll call you whatever the hell I want. I'm your older sister, dammit. And don't touch my wine! Geez, can't leave a glass of booze within fifty feet of you without you trying to drink it, Marian."

"Stop it!"

"Marian."

"Quit!"

"Marian, Marian, wanted to be named Ha-dri-an." She stuck her tongue out at her infuriated twin.

"What do you mean by that?" Lavi asked.

"Well, originally Marian's name was supposed to be Hadrian, and my name was supposed to be Marian. They mixed us up when we were born and put the wrong names on our birth certificates. But Mom decided she liked it better that way. She always wanted to name a boy MAAARIAN."

"Shut up, Hadrian!"

"So he got stuck with it. And he got picked on a lot in school because of it. He used to come home crying, and then the next day I would go kick all the kids' asses and tie them to the monkey bars with their own shoelaces. Ah, such great memories."

"Nuh-uh. It was embarrassing, having to rely on my sister to bail me out of trouble."

"It's okay, Marian. At least you finally beat me at something. You became an Exorcist General before me. Oh wait, I'm not an Exorcist!" She laughed, finishing off her wine. Everyone else around her laughed too, making Cross even angrier.

"Yeah, well…At least I'm not short!"

"What did you say?" She rose to her full height.

"You heard me. You're just jealous because I'm over a foot taller than you. You're jealous because you stopped at five two and I'm six four."

"Yeah, well you're jealous because I have longer, prettier hair than you do," Hadrian shot back, tossing her hair, which fell almost to her knees.

Ewan, Lavi, and Leo shared a bucket of popcorn between them, watching with amusement.

"How long do you think they can keep this up?" Ewan asked.

"I don't know, but this is better than an R rated movie, that's for sure!" Lavi said.

"You're jealous because Mom always liked me better!" Cross shot off.

"You're jealous because Dad didn't make me cut my hair like he did you!"

Silence filled the room. Popcorn fell out of Lavi's mouth. Allen hid under a table, fearing for his life.

"You. Did. Not," Cross said.

"Yes. I. Just. Did," Hadrian replied.

"That's it. I'm finished with this crap. I'm ending this NOW!" He walked over to her and grabbed her ankle. He lifted her off the ground and began to carry her off.

"Hey! No far, you giant! Put me back down so I can kick your ass!"

"Gladly," Cross said, dropping her into a trash can. The seriousness of the moment died away as Cross began to laugh.

"Hahahaha, oh God this is too funny! I never thought I'd see the day when I got to drop my sister into a trash can! This is so great!" He fell to the floor, rolling and laughing so hard he almost couldn't breathe. The trash can exploded into shards of burning plastic and garbage.

"You're not going to think it's so funny when I kick your ass! Since you're taller it'll be easier for me to reach it so I can put my foot up it!" Cross got up and began to back away. He found himself cornered against a wall.

"Prepare yourself!" Hadrian said as she ran for him.

Cross simply held her at arms length with one hand.

"Haha, you can't get me because you can't reach me!" Cross said in a singsong voice.

"I'll show you once you let me go!"

"Okay then." Cross stepped around her, still keeping her at arms' length. He then let her go, patted her on the head, and took off in a dead sprint.

"Get back here! You have an unfair advantage because your legs are longer!" Hadrian yelled as she took off after him. Everyone sat, still trying to process the events that had taken place.

"Vell, forget this," Nicolae said. "I have date to prepare for." He got up and walked out of the room.

--

Earlier that day

"But Nicolae! You can't get in the way of true love! It's their destiny! I know because all the signs point to it!" Avani was having a harder time convincing Nicolae to go on a date with Lenalee than she did convincing Lenalee to go on a date with Nicolae. The monk was rather stubborn, that was for damn sure.

"What if I told you I could get you a table right near Miranda and Krory. That way you could still keep an eye out, even though you wouldn't be the one on the date with her." Nicolae opened one eye.

"Fine. I vill try to be nice to Lenalee, though it vill be difficult considering she is not object of my affection. I am a gentleman, after all." Avani breathed a sigh of relief. Now she just had to pray that Nicolae wouldn't do anything to mess things up or purposely destroy the relationship she was trying to forge…

--

Lenalee looked about the restaurant nervously. Nicolae wasn't late, not yet anyway, but she prayed that he did. She just hoped she could get through the evening without anything strange or unusual happening.

_That's too much to ask when it comes to any of Cross' children, _she thought.

Scratch that. She hoped nothing TOO strange or unusual happened.

Nicolae walked in right on time. Lenalee took a deep breath and walked over to him.

"Hey Nicolae. You look great tonight" she said with a smile.

"Thanks. You don't look bad yourself," he replied without even making eye contact. He was looking for Miranda and Krory, she noticed. It made her feel a bit angry. Allen and Lavi would never do this to her!

Lenalee swallowed her anger and took Nicolae's hand.

"Let's go sit at our table." She pulled him along, and he went willingly. He even pulled her chair out for her and let her sit down before taking his own seat. Lenalee had to admit, the monk, however odd he seemed, wasn't short on manners. He only glanced over at Miranda and Krory once before turning his attention on her. Lenalee searched her mind for something to ask him.

"So…what was life like back in Romania?"

"Eh, it was boring. I live in monestary most of my life. Clean, read books, fight vampires…"

"You've fought vampires?" Lenalee said, surprised.

"Is not big deal. Most vampires not that hard to kill. One stake in the heart or holy water will kill just about any vampire. They are not really creatures to be feared, at least, not by me."

Lenalee found herself drawn to Nicolae. She didn't really know why, but he did have his own sort of charm. It was rather like Cross' actually.

The night went on and the two continued talking, unaware that they were being watched…

--

"NOOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL LENALEE!" Komui cried. Avani put her hand over his mouth.

"Quiet, you fool! You'll ruin everything if you do that again."

"But Lenalee…"

"Quiet or I'll shoot you with this gun I found in Father's room," she said, pulling out a giant handgun.

"How on earth did you get Judgment? How can you even carry it with you?"

"I don't know. It looks just like a regular gun to me." Avani shrugged.

"Then apparently you haven't seen very many guns, because that one's not normal size. It's your father Innocence, and you really shouldn't try to use it. Anyway, as I was saying, LENALEE!!"

"That's it, you annoyance! I'll shoot your now!" She pulled out the gun and prepared to fire. She hid it away quickly when the waiter came back to their table.

"Do you two need anything else?"

"No, we are just fine. Thank you." Avani smiled, and the waiter left.

"_Now _I'll shoot you! She pulled the gun out from under the tablecloth and aimed for Komui's head…

--

**A/N: So Cross and Hadrian are just like any other siblings. Or are they? And does poor Komui get shot by Avani? How do the dates end up going? So many questions, to be answered next chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"Uh, Hadrian?"

"What?"

"Where's Judgment?" Cross looked around for it, even crawling under his dusty bed.

"What?"  
"My handgun. Where is it?"

"One of your kids took it with her. It was…the Indian one, I think." Cross took off running for the door, muttering curses to himself.

"I have to get that thing away from her before she blows herself up."

"What's the big deal? It's just a handgun. You played with them all the time when you were her age."

"This one is special. It's my Innocence, and if she tries to use it she'll blow herself and anyone in the general area up because it's only synced to me! I have to stop her!"

"Well, have fun with that. I'm staying right here." Cross left Hadrian there, hoping she would cause too much trouble.

He just hoped he could get there before it was too late…

--

"Can't we discuss this like rational human beings? I mean, without the violence. Because violence never solved anything…"

"Silence! I will hear no more of your ramblings. I am not going to have all my hard work compromised." Avani prepared to fire the gun. It glowed blue in her hand, but then changed suddenly to red.

"What is it doing?" she asked, panicking.

"It's not synchronized with you! Drop it before it backfires!"

"I-I can't! It's sticking to my hand!" Avani saw a white plate coming out of the corner of her eye. It smashed into her hand and the gun clattered to the floor.

"Ouch! That hurt, but at least it worked." She massaged her hand as she looked about for the culprit.

Miranda and Krory were too caught up in their own conversation to notice anyone else. Lenalee was sitting at her table with Nicolae, eyes wide at either what had just happened or the fact that her brother had come to supervise her and Nicolae. Or both.

She looked over at Nicolae, who was smirking that "I know what you did" smirk. He'd been the one who threw the plate and knocked Judgment out of her hand.

One thing was for certain; the monk knew a lot more than people gave him credit for.

Cross walked through the doors, immediately searching for Avani. She tried to hide herself, but Komui yelled, "She's over here!" He walked over to the table, fuming. Cross picked up Judgment, put it back in his hip holster, and turned to her.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself, young lady?"

"I'm…sorry?" Avani smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, we'll see how sorry you are when we get back to Headquarters. I can stand a lot of things, but endangering yourself and the people around you by doing something reckless…" Cross shook his head, unable to finish. He grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her out of the restaurant, Nicolae smirking at her the whole way out…

--

"That was amazing Nicolae! How'd you do that?"

"Eh, you learn lots of things vampire hunting. One thing I learn is that you need to pay attention and have good aim…"

_It's official, _Lenalee thought.

_I'm in love with the most unlikely person ever…_

--

"Mommy's home! Mommy's home!" Leo shouted as Krory and Miranda walked in the door.

"I missed you a whole lot! Daddy said you went on a date with Miranda. Did you have lots of fun?"

"We sure did," Krory said, picking the little boy up.

"Daddy let me have cake and ice cream for dinner! Great aunt Hadrian tried to eat some of my cake and I whacked her with my spoon! But since I had lots of sugar I have lots and lots of energy! I'm gonna ask Daddy if I can play with his hammer!" As soon as his feet hit the ground, Leo took off at top speed, running as fast as his little legs would carry him.

"Be careful Leo! Don't run too fast and slip! You could crack your head open!" Miranda chuckled.

"I can see why he calls you Mommy. You're just like an overprotective mother to that boy."

"You ought to see Lavi then. He's even more protective than I am…" Miranda stopped Krory in mid-sentence by doing the bravest thing he'd ever done in his life.

She kissed him on the lips. Then she walked away, trying hard to fight back the feeling inside her.

She looked back.

Krory was still standing there, face as red as a ruby…

--

"Wow, Marian. I'm surprised you disciplined the girl. I never thought you had it in you."

"Well, what else was I supposed to do? She almost killed herself."

"Because contrary to what you want people to think, you actually care about those kids, don't you?" Cross shrugged.

"As much as you can care about seven kids who're part of you, I guess."

"You guess?" Hadrian smiled. "Just admit it, Marian. You love every last one of those kids, even the weird monk one."

"Yeah. You got me. Though don't think I'd ever admit that to Allen."

"Oh, you don't have to. I heard every word," Allen said as he hit a button on a tape recorder.

"Come back with that tape recorder so I can smash it with a hammer!" Cross yelled as he ran after him.

"Never! You shall never get it away from me! Hahaha!"

"We'll see about that!"

"Wait…no. Ah! This is child abuse I tell you! CHILD ABUSE!!" Hadrian walked into the room and found Allen tied to a ceiling support by his shoelaces and Cross holding the tape recorder victoriously.

"Ha! Who's your daddy, Allen Walker Cross?"

"You are," Allen said without emotion.

"That's right, and don't you forget it!" He crushed the tape recorder in his hand and walked victoriously back to his room.

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. Urg, I don't really like this chapter. I promise the next one will be better and have more humor in it. Until next time. **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"Oh dear," Allen said.

"This isn't going to end well," Lavi finished.

"But it'll be entertaining as hell," Ewan said, putting his feet on the table.

"It's painfully apparent that you're Cross' child," Allen said.

"That's a good thing though, isn't it?"

"Not really," Allen replied.

"Shh! They're fixing to start." The three, along with most of the Black Order, watched the two in the ring intently.

"You're going down, you old hag," Kanda said as he drew Mugen from its sheath.

"We'll see about that, you snot-nosed pup," Hadrian replied.

Kanda charged first, intending to thrust Mugen between her ribs. Hadrian watched him, unfazed until he got about five feet away.

She raised two fingers and yelled, "Gata!"

Mugen flew out of Kanda's hand and stuck to the ceiling.

"It's even now. Wouldn't want me to have an unfair advantage, now would you?"

"I can still take you down hand to hand!" he yelled as he lunged at her.

"My, what a temper you have," Hadrian said as she stepped aside and allowed Kanda to hit the ground.

"It's never good to let your temper get the best of you. It makes you lose focus and opens you to attacks!" Hadrian whipped her long hair around Kanda's leg and threw him across the ring.  
"Whoa! How'd she do that?" Miranda asked.

"Magic," Allen replied simply. "She's mastered even more than Dad, I mean Cross, since she didn't have to train with Innocence."

Kanda recovered quickly and charged again.

"Let's lighten things up a bit, shall we? This is starting to bore me. Oh Marian!"

"Yes, O Delightful Sister?" Cross replied from the sidelines.

"Mind helping me liven things up?" Kanda's eyes widened.

"That's not fair! He's a General, much more powerful that me!"

"Hon, I'm a magician, not a saint. Nobody said I had to fight fair, so I won't."

"Why are you dragging your brother into your fights anyway? You're the one who made my soba attempt to eat my face!"

"Because he makes things more interesting, that's why. And we were born on the same day from the same mother, so we pretty much count as one person anyway." Kanda smirked.

"Fine then! I'll take you both on!" The twins looked at each other, and everyone but Kanda could see how the fight would end.

"Auntie Kanda's toast, isn't he Daddy?" Leo asked Lavi.

"Oh yeah. This is gonna be great!"

Kanda decided that he needed to take Cross out first, and then deal with Hadrian, who seemed to be the weaker of the two. His sword fell from the ceiling and into his hand.

"You might need that after all, seeing as how you're dealing with two world-class fighters," Cross said.

"Stop your jabbering and just fight me, old man!" Kanda yelled as he attacked.

"Well, when you put it that way…" Cross blocked Kanda's fist with one hand, then turned and gave him a swift kick to the head.

"If this is the best you can do, kid, then just get out of the ring and sit in the stands. You asked for a fight, and you're going to get one."

"On your feet, kid." Hadrian put her hand out, and the ground pushed Kanda to his feet. He looked at the ground frantically, but regained his composure in time to block a few punches from Hadrian. Cross tripped him from behind and grabbed him by the ankle. Kanda dangled about two feet from the ground before Cross dropped him on his head and walked off.

"Don't start fights you can't finish, kid. Or if you do, then actually make it worth the time of the person you're challenging." Kanda got back up, furious.

"Come back here and fight me!"

"Nah. Hadrian's more than capable of handling herself, especially against a wimp like you." Kanda fumed, leaving him perfectly open to Hadrian's wrath.

"So…since I'm a woman I'm less of a threat, am I?" Kanda gulped.

"Y-you can read minds?"

"Sure can. I just brought Marian out here to see what you were thinking about me, to see how hard I have to go on you. Now that I know…"

Various crunching and snapping noises could be heard, though nobody knew who it was coming from because of all the dust kicked up. Lavi had covered Leo's eyes, shielding him from the violent spectacle.

When the dust cleared, a bruised Kanda dragged himself to the center of the ring before passing out. Hadrian put her foot on his back, victorious. Then she too passed out and fell in a heap on top of Kanda.

"So…what was that all about?" Ewan asked. "Hadrian was beatin' the shyte out of him."

"She was fighting him drunk," Allen replied. "She's done it before."

"You've always got to ruin life's mysteries for us, don't you Allen?" Lavi said, uncovering Leo's eyes.

"Yes, that's my purpose in life, Lavi."

"I knew it! I knew it all along!"

"Whatever. Let's get out of here." The three left the anticlimactic and trekked to their rooms…

--

"So, how did things go with Lenalee?" Cross asked Nicolae.

"Well…okay I guess." He looked nervously at the floor.

"Do you like her?"

"She is nice enough. Not bad looking either. Just…don't like her very much. She is not my type."

"Well, she's definitely mine," Cross said, lighting a cigarette.

"Any voman with big breasts and pretty face is your type."

"Ha! You got me there, son. Your powers of observation are uncanny." Nicolae shrugged.

"But vat do I do? She likes me, but I do not feel same way. And I do not vant to hurt her feelings." Cross blew out a ring of smoke.

"Do what I always do."

"Vich is?"

"Sleep with her and then say, "Sorry, I don't think things are going to work out between us. Can we just be friends?" Nicolae narrowed his eyes at his father.

"That is one thing I vill not do. I may not be best monk, but I vould never sleep with voman I did not love."

"Well, then, you'll just have to do it the hard way and tell it to her straight. Even if it breaks her heart and makes her cry."

"You ought to know lot about that, considering you probably did same thing to my mother and every voman you've slept with," Nicolae replied.

"I don't deny it. I've broken quite a few hearts in my day. I'm not proud of it, I'll tell you that much. But I'm already the worst damn priest to walk the earth, so why change my ways now?"

"You are priest?" Nicolae asked incredulously.

Cross simply turned and gave his son the "well duh" look.

"Of course. How do you think I met your mother? I was staying at the monestary next to the convent she lived in. We did it during "confession" quite a few times," Cross said with a wolfish grin.

Nicolae simply sat there for a long time, the shock clearly etched into his face…

--

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update. I got a bit of writer's block with the story. Hopefully it's gone now, though. Just wait and see what happens in the next chapter of Big Happy Family! **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"What are you doing, Giselle?" Avani asked the little girl.

"I'm trying to find Leo," she replied. "We were playing House and he ran away and hid from me."

"He's probably with Lavi or Krory, maybe Komui or Reever."

"Oh, okay! I'll go find him then." Giselle left the room and went to find Leo.

--

"Leo, what are you doing under there?" Leo put a slice of chocolate cake on Reever's desk.

"If Giselle comes by, I'm not here," Leo whispered, crawling back under into the darkness.

"Gotcha," Reever said as he went back to work. Leo snickered, proud of his brilliant plan.

"Oh Mousier Reever, have you seen Leo anywhere around here?"

"Nope. Haven't seen a red hair of him anywhere. Did you check the kitchen?"

"No, but I will do that." Giselle ran off for the kitchen. Leo peeked out from under the desk.

"Is she gone?"

"Yep. Just avoid the kitchen for a little while and you should be fine. And thanks for the cake, by the way."

"You're welcome. Since Daddy's still asleep, I'm on my own for a couple of hours. I think I'll go see Evil Grandpa next. Bye Auntie Reever!" Leo picked himself up and ran through the science lab and out the door.

--

Cross sat in his room, near the window. He'd pulled back the curtains not to let in the sun, but so he could watch the rain. He loved the rain. It reminded him of when he was a kid in Ireland. His Italian father always complained about the rain, while his mother, born and raised in Ireland, loved it. Cross remembered when he and Hadrian were Leo's age. She would always go hide under her bed, while he would pull a chair up to the window and stand on it for hours, watching the rain.

He didn't even turn when someone walked in the door. Leo walked over to him.

"Hi Grandpa. Whatcha doing?"

"Watching the rain. And I'm your father, not your grandpa."

"Why are you doing that? It's just water falling from the sky. Nothing interesting about that." Cross shrugged and continued looking out the window.

"It's always interested me. It's my favorite kind of weather." He picked Leo up and set him in his lap.

"Well, I'm not really interested in this, but I'm trying to hide from Giselle. So I'll stick around for a little bit…"

--

"Leo? Leo? Where are you?" Giselle rummaged through cupboards, making a general mess in the kitchen. She tripped people working in the kitchen up and caused so much destruction that Jerry finally just pushed her out.

"Get out! Leo's not in here! Go destroy something else looking for him!" He shut the door behind her and locked it.

"I guess I'll have to look somewhere else now," Giselle said as she left to determine where to look next…"

--

Leo left Cross' room and searched for another place to hide. He chose the library. It was big and quiet, with lots of places to hide. He walked around, wondering if there was anyone to talk to in this place.

Leo set sights on his next victim; Nicolae. The monk sat in the middle of an aisle, books piled around him. The little boy successfully scaled one of the stacks and sat on top of it.

"Whatcha doing, Uncle Nic?"

"Am reading. And name is Nicolae. None of this "Nic" business."

"I can't say your full name. It's too hard."

"Is not. I say it vell enough."

"Well you talk funny. I don't talk funny like you do. So Nic is easier to say." Nicolae looked at the little boy in irritation.

"Don't you have better things to do besides bother me? Go find older red head…Lavi." He went back to reading his book.

"Are you reading porn?" Nicolae slammed the book shut and turned around to face Leo.

"No, am not. Now leave before I smash you head vith this book."

"You're only threatening to do that because you know it's true."

"No, am threatening you because you are pest. Now leave me alone."

"From where I'm looking, it looks a lot like porn to me."

"You cannot even read Japanese. How vould you know?"

"I dunno. Will you read me a story?" Leo asked.

"No," Nicolae replied bluntly.

"Why not?"

"Because you are stupid annoying child. Now leave me be."

"Well fine then. You're not any fun anyway." Leo climbed down from the stack and left the library, unaware of what waited for him outside…

--

"I've found you!" Leo turned and ran as fast as he could, Giselle hot on his heels.

"You're not going to get away that easily!" He threw open the door to Cross' room and frantically scrambled up his father's 6'4" frame, holding on for dear life to his neck.

"Leo? What the hell's wrong with you?" Giselle stepped into the room.

"Don't let her take me, Grandpa! I don't want to play house!" Leo buried his face in Cross' long hair.

"But Papa, he promised and then ran away! No one should ever go back on their promises!"

"She has a point there, son. Did you promise to play with her?" Cross looked at Leo with his one eye.

"…Yes," the boy replied, defeated.

"Then you have to play with her. An honorable man always keeps his promises." He pulled Leo off of him and removed his hands from his hair and set him down on the ground. Giselle grabbed his hand triumphantly and began to lead him away. And her victory would have been complete…

Had Lavi not woken up and come out of his room.

"Hey kid," he said sleepily as he plucked Leo from Giselle's grasp and took him down the hall. Leo made faces at her the entire time.

As payback, Giselle put a fork in Leo's chair, which he sat right on top of.

--

**A/N: I apologize for lack of updates. Lack of inspiration and time is to blame. Hope you enjoy it anyway! And I'll try to update as soon as I can. Thanks again to my lovely reviewers!! **


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Ewan moved silently along the walls, looking around the corner to make sure the coast was clear. When he was sure no one was coming, he removed the paper clip from his pocket and began picking the lock to Cross' door. It popped open easily, and he walked into the dimly lit room.

He laid eyes on what he'd gone through all the trouble of breaking into his father's room for; the liquor cabinet.

While Ewan did respect and admire his new found dad very much, he also had his father's affinity for alcohol. And the fact that he was underage and therefore not allowed to buy his own drove him to the desperate measures he was now enacting.

Plus, he loved taking things that weren't his. It was a game to him really. A game he loved to play with anyone that he could.

Like he had this morning when he'd stolen the book Nicolae was reading. The monk was still searching for it. He knew because he had it hidden in his jacket; the perfect hiding place.

Ewan grabbed all the full bottles of alcohol he could find and snuck out of the room, making the perfect escape…

Or so he thought.

"You know, my brother doesn't take too kindly to people stealing his booze. He would be unhappy if it were to come out that you were the one who took it all, if you know what I mean."

"What do ye want from me, Hadrian?"

"Half of your stolen goods. If I know my brother as well as I think I do, he only keeps the world class stuff in his room. So hand it over or I spill the beans." She motioned with her hand, and Ewan grudgingly gave her half the bottles in his coat.

"Thanks kid. Nice doing business with you. Marian won't hear a word out of me." Hadrian walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner.

Ewan ran off to his own room and hid his stolen goods under his bed…

--

Allen walked out of Komui's office, pulling a sheet of paper from his hair. He hated having to go in there and submit reports. Even after Nicolae's organizing spree, the place was still a gigantic fire waiting to happen.

He sighed and headed down to the cafeteria. He really needed something to eat.

He froze when he heard cursing and swearing coming from Cross' room. This could mean one of two things.

One: he could have run out of cigarettes. This was easily remedied by the presence of Hadrian, who also smoked. He could just get some from her.

Two: someone took some of his alcohol. This wasn't easily remedied, even if the offender returned it, Cross felt the need to beat the living hell out of anyone who stole from him.

Because while Marian Cross had the right to steal from others, no one had the right to steal from him.

Allen heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. He let out a small yelp and took off running.

Unfortunately, this gave away his position to the irritated Cross. And Allen couldn't outrun Cross, not even if he put his mind to it.

He found himself lifted up by his shirt and face to face with the one person he really didn't want to see.

"Hey there, son. I need you to go on a little mission for me." Allen got a face full of smoke as Cross exhaled

"What do you want me to do Mas- I mean…Dad?" Allen felt his eye twitch.

"I want you to go find whoever raided my liquor cabinet and bring them to me. I have something very…_special _planned for them. Now run along and find them. If I catch you slacking there will be hell to pay. Got it?" Allen nodded.

"Good. Now scurry along and get to work!" He put down the shaking Allen and walked away.

He may not have known much, but he knew he didn't like that evil glint in Cross' eye or the creepy smile.

"Why me?" Allen moaned when he was sure he was out of earshot. He trudged back down the hall, ignoring the pangs of hunger. The sooner he found the culprit, the sooner he would get to eat…

--

Allen wrote down a list of every likely person who was stupid enough to steal from Cross. It wasn't a very long list, but he knew he was going to have a time searching the entire Black Order for them. The list read like this:

_Hadrian Cross- The most likely suspect, seeing as how she is the closest relative of Mas-I mean, Dad._

_Ewan Cross- He just seems like he'd do something stupid like that._

_Lavi- Ditto above statement. _

_Leo Cross- That kid is the devil in disguise. I know he is._

_Yuu Kanda- He's the most unlikely suspect, which makes him the perfect suspect. Or something along those lines. _

_Lenalee Lee- I though I'd add her so I don't seem sexist. Hadrian looks kind of lonely being the only female suspect. _

_Nicolae Cross- He's weird, so he gets a place on this list by default._

Allen looked over his list once more, double checking it. He gave a nod of satisfaction and began his investigation…

--

**A/N: Sorry it's not much, but here it is. You demanded more Allen, so you got it. He gets to go on a super special mission for his daddy snickers Hopefully I'll get back on this and post more soon. Until next time then…**


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